Nobody likes you and you will die alone.

I've got a spell for you. Simply mix bleach and rat poison and then stick your head in the bowl.

If you're forty years old and posting on a sex advice forum you should probably already be dead.

Speak English motherfucker.

I wish there was a Hulk who gets angry and smashes internet forums.

It's the Michael Moore of gender relations.

I don't think girls like you.

Oh dear.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.