Steve: I have to agree with your choice here.
Zack: Picture a windy night. You're tucked in your bed. A branch keeps tap-tapping on your window and casting sinister shadows across your bedroom. Just when you can't take it anymore it stops. Then lightning crashes and there is a beholder pressed up against your window. A huge frigging evil eye peering into your bedroom. Watching you sleep.
Steve: You don't need to sell me. I don't like eyeballs or snakes and this thing can also disintegrate an entire party.
Zack: Alright, pop quiz. If you could have any body part fly away and become giant, which would it be?Steve: Is this flying body part malevolent?
Zack: As the day is long.
Steve: Then I'm going with whatever body part can cause the least damage.
Zack: I'd go tonsils. If one of my body parts has to become evil and fly away I'm going with the one I know I can live without.
Steve: I wonder if Beholders have a Beholder school and the goof-off Beholder has a bunch of monocles with eyes painted on the front so it can sleep while everything thinks it's paying close attention.Zack: The answer to all questions related to Beholder High is, "Yes."
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.