From: *Miss Thang*
Subject: (NO SUBJECT)
hello there, jeff k. i was wondering if you could put me in one of your bitchin' and politically profound comic strips. my name is courtney. you see, i am dying of some really bad disease or something and my dying wish is that you give me my 15 minutes of fame, or whatever. i have brown hair to my shoulders and blue eyes. please help to fulfill my dying wish. thanks.
shut up I DONT HAEV TIEM FOR GIRLS AND GIRL CRAP so go awaey and no I wont put you in my comics becuas yuo would TARNISH MY LEGEND!!!!.
From: Lee Jones
Subject: your an idiot... and why...
The definition of an idiot and/or moron in my beleaf of the words and/or terms is someone to which idiotic beleafs, ideas, actions, and friends (if thus they can be called) attach themselves. Another instance would be to step in front of a quickly moving vehical(such as a bus, car, speed boat, airliner, etc. etc.), to eat glass, to crap one's pants and then eat it, to make love to trees the wildlife therein in general, to jump from a high point in a city while forgetting a bungee coard or parachute by (supposedly) an accident. Now I'm not suggesting that you do these things simply because your a moron who cant spell and has no idea whatsoever of how to use html to its full potential but simply because you dont realy know how to use html at all and simply disgrace those that do, and the fact that your spelling and grammer piss me off something awful. But other then the fact that I would probably hate your ass more then being rapped by a wild boar, another thing idiots do... hey.... has that happened to you.... come on now... admite it... you love those tusks.... go get em tiger.... but back on track... your an idiot who should shut the hell up....
WOW he coems back home from teh SPELLING BEE and then writes me and emale about "OH HO HO JEFF K YUO CANT SPELL LIEK ME TEH SMARTEY MAN AND OH HO GO JUMP OUT OF A PLAINE INTO TEH LAKE OH HO YUO CANT SPELL GOOD LIEK ME" such hostaile lettar! yuo have vary good spelling and GRAMMAR (NOTE I SPELLED IT RIGHT UNLIEK YUO).
REALLY CRAZZEY MEN WRITE ME EMAILS ABOUT MY SPELLING!!!! yuo think peopal would SHUT UP and learn I am mastar computar usar and my fingars type fast because of ghosts of haX0rs flying through me but NO they keep writeing in liek ideots and say "SPELL BETTAR YOU DUMB KID" and "GO CRUSH YUOR HEAD AGAINST A WALL" but joeks on them and furtharmoreI BELEAF YUO ARE TURD!!!
Subject: Dearest Jeff
I am not from your country , I am from New Zealand, I was wondering, what the fuck do they put in the water in your country?
From: Danny Surla
Subject: It's important
I would just like to thank you, for being the funniest person ever, and making fun of douche bags.
THANKS, DOUCHE BAG
Funny MOMENT THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME OF TEH WEEK:
shut up AND READ MY COMIC "BETTAR THAN PENNEY ARCADE"!!!!
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.