Make fireworks illegal, they rile my cows!
Gluing my arms together while I'm sleeping is a crime!
If you are getting fat, quit it!
The security guard should not yell at me when I get lost in the mall!
Make birds not chase me!
It's too damn hot!
This Week on Something Awful...
Would you eat a Skittle out of my mouth like a baby bird?
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
AGGREGATION OF DOGS
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
Hot Boyz
What do Gary Busey, Master P, Snoop Dogg, and Jeff Speakman have in common? We have no fucking idea.
An EDF Squad Explains the Plot of Earth Defense Force 4.1
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
About This Column
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.
Previous Articles
- Ki Sanctuary, IHateButterflies, politicalslugfest, Manscat, and Star Banter
- Deviant Desires, LiveWire, and PoopReport
- AfraidToAsk and DeviantArt
- FAQs.org, Tibia, Rotteneggs, and eBay
- Spread Firefox, ChavScum, The Burn Book, and Aggressive.com
