In addition to places like the United States, the Earth, and the Universe, McDonald's apparently has a poor reputation in the United Kingdom. To remedy this McDonald's UK has decided to set up a web site for their retarded demographic to ask questions about the company and their policies.

Unfortunately they made the mistake of answering every single question sent in by the mentally ill and those who only pretend to be to impress their Internet friends. Somehow this will strengthen the brand name of a corporation that already makes 4 billion in profit a year. If that's what a poor reputation gets you, then I wish I were hated by everyone in the world and not just the Internet.

So I go to the doctor and I tell him it hurts every time I do this.


Eating McDonald's can KILL YOUR BABY.


Over the course of this little Q&A experiment McDonald's continually receives and dodges this question with expert precision. Please, how can these people deny that one of their more deranged employees has not ejaculated into a meal at least once? If McDonald's UK wants to change their image, they are going to have to do better than this. And even if they admitted the burgers were full of semen, people would continue to eat there. So what are they waiting for already? Come (hehe) out with the truth already!


This is like when Homer found a peanut and had to explain to himself what it does. Good luck on your many adventures question-asker.


McDonald's advocates eating a balanced diet but if you're really into fuck it here's our suggestions.


Can I marry a Big Mac?


More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.