Far Future War
Steve: Ah, I can't tell what's going on!
Zack: Grim and dark enough for you?
Steve: Everyone is always yelling in 40K. They're always shouting about something and there's always something giant in the background.
Zack: 40K is definitely our most requested gaming system. I wanted to start with the really old Rogue Trader stuff, but you thought we had to do the new stuff first. Explain yourself.
Steve: Well, like, I wanted to be fair. Rogue Trader book is awesome, truly, but it's all weird too. Like bug men all over the place and the Space Marines look sort of crazy. 40K is like my favorite system beside probably D&D, so I wanted to give it a fair shot with the new book which is way cooler and the rules are better.
Zack: You realize our purpose here isn't to be fair, right? It's pretty much the opposite of our purpose. We're here to be as unfair as possible.
Steve: Yeah, I guess, but I mean, if you're really so good at being mean you can be mean about the new one too.
Zack: I accept your challenge.
Steve: Whoa, wait a second. Hold on. I wasn't telling you to be mean about Warhammer, I was just saying this was like an exercise.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.