A dirty woman bites you and gives you an infection and suddenly you're Count Fucking Dracula.
It's gotta be because you're all so fun to be around.
The threads where people split hairs about stupid shit that doesn't actually exist are my favorites.
I know that some people see women as objects but I didn't think anyone saw them as biological soda machines.
Sleeping with your decorative knife collection is never recommended.
2. He's not.
3. A few too many off the side of a bridge.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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