Oh, to be an Internet creep in love...

It means it's time to get another hamster.

It's just like talking in real life except when you hang up the phone you never say bye.

Take a bath once in a while.

Next time ask BEFORE you take the pills, Elizabeth.

Fifty bucks for that shit? Where do I sign up?

That's all for this week. Thanks to my forum friends Cornflake Girl, Livestruck, Annihilist, enotnert, bbchops, Crucify, fenix down, Limestock, Fausdinotoly, Fyad Viscount, kazoogirl, Cowboy Beepbop, Gobiner, jpancake, supersleuth, saddamdeluise, puffery, perfect scrotum, asdindebimte, rubber cat, Sunny Delight, 19, Sebbe, Depressing Drawers, kknd_cf and Mr Plow.

Know of a terrible forum that should be featured in a future Weekend Web? Please send me a link!

– Johnny "Doc Evil" Titanium (@fart)

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There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

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