Did you know there was a video game for the Super Nintendo so EXTREME it only needed one button? HOLY FUCKIN RADICAL.
Why the hell were there so many video games about cavemen? Dinosaurs are awesome, but there is no fucking excuse for this.
Everyone knows Girls Don't Play Video Games. But with shit like "Beauty and the Beast: Belle's Quest" aimed at their demographic, can you blame us?
Do you enjoy running around in dark tunnels, hopeless, confused, and without purpose? Well that's probably what your entire life is like, but that doesn't mean Foton: The Ultimate Game on Planet Earth wasn't a terrible, terrible idea! In fact, this game is so far the CROWN JEWEL OF THE ROM PIT. Hooray!
"Tiny Toon Adventures" was a Saturday morning cartoon that many a regressed manchild can't let go of. I let go of the cartridge for the video game adaption rather forcefully, and happened to drop it under a pile of bricks! Ooops!
Last week, we claimed that "Ninja Kid" defined the clusterfuck. With "The Adventures of Dino Riki," we've changed our minds. The ROM Pit is the gift that just keeps giving!
Raptor Red should be writing her 9000 billion papers. Instead, she spent a week playing a shitty anime game from 1986. Ninja Kid is so exciting, I could shoot myself!
Finally, Raptor Red has manned up and reviewed a game she actually liked as a kid. Replaying 1995's "The Magic Schoolbus" has sent her into fits of self-loathing.
The Muppets were great! "Muppet Adventure: Chaos at the Carnival" was not great! It's a horribly inept game based on puppets from 1990. The hell do you expect?
This is a review of the SNES video game "Spellcraft," but it is also a heartrending story of a young boy who turned to drugs and virginity to ease his pain. Please, don't do drugs.
Raptor Red reviews "Dragon Power," which is actually "Dragon Ball" but -brace yourself- somehow even shittier.
"Popeye" is a terrible video game and I have no idea how I played it, let alone stretched it into an article. But this GRRRL writer totally POSTED PIXXX in it!!!1
Did you know there's a Street Fighter clone based on Les Miserables? Yes, I mean Victor Hugo's novel of turmoil during the French Revolution, and the subsequent musical. Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to inform you.
"Wurm: Journey to the Center of the Earth" is another bad video game from the early 90s that is slowly weakening my will to live. God, when the fuck does this shit stop?
This is a review of "Werewolf: The Last Warrior" for the original Nintendo Entertainment System. I fucking congratulate it, because it's the first ROM ever to genuinely fill my heart with hate.
Something Awful's ROM Pit reviews "Hello Kitty's Flower Shop," a game for kids that's so much fun it never saw the light of day in English!
SomethingAwful's ROM Pit reviews Awesome Possum, a Sonic ripoff that demands you save the environment OR ELSE ITS PROTAGONIST WON'T FUCKING SHUT UP.
SomethingAwful's ROM Pit reviews Mission: Impossible for the NES. What could be more fantastic than explosions, tedium, and racism?!
Reynaldo P. Mellenfritz takes over the ROM Pit for a day to pitch his FANTASTIC video game idea, "Swamp Thing."
SomethingAwful's ROM Pit reviews "Bignose the Caveman," a game showcasing such stupidity that Intelligent Design and Evolution both gave up and joined a suicide cult together. Let's have a peek!
"McDonalds Treasureland Adventure" shocks by being an advertisement game that is... actually pretty fun. It also turns SomethingAwful's ROM Pit writer into a gibbering, sociopathic monster.
"Golgo 13" is an absolutely horrendous game about secret agents and animes. The ROM Pit brings you the pain on a silver platter.
In case "Swing Vote" wasn't enough of a reason to make you hate Kevin Costner, here's a disgusting NES game based on "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves," reviewed by the ROM Pit!
Have you ever wanted to play a Simpsons game that has antisemitism, Norman Bates, and a bad LSD trip all rolled into one? If you answered "yes," then you're a terrible fucking person, but please feel free to read this ROM Pit Review of "The Simpsons: Virtual Bart" anyway!
There's nothing cooler than ninjas beating up aliens, unless of course it's ninjas who can turn into furries beating up aliens. ...wait.
The ROM Pit knows video games are complex today; there's nothing like getting sucked into the in-depth strategy of nabbing that high score, except maybe touching a member of the opposite sex that you don't share DNA with. But can complexity RUIN a game? Who knows! "Kung-Fu Heroes" was ruined from the start!
Do you remember watching Double Dare as a kid? Remember thinking how cool it would be to be one of those contestants, neck-deep in gooey slime? Welp, in 1988, "Double Dare" for the NES gave us that chance. The Something Awful ROM Pit wishes it hadn't.
Something Awful's ROM Pit takes a look at the touching story of a self-harming mutant in its review of the horrible "Wolverine" for the Nintendo Entertainment System.
The ROM Pit rises from the grave this week, and finds a horrible "classic" to feast upon.
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