I'd like to have a few words with whoever is funding this ill-conceived endeavor. Those words being: What, the, and fuck.

Not all lesbians are hot. Told ya.

Here's one: Go to hell, you fat motherfucking son of a bitch with your bigass head and your disgusting neck looking like a pack of fucked up hotdogs.

A thought so nice he said it twice.

I'm pretty sure she's going to find out she's getting fat, dude.

"horrified" lives on top of a mountain.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.