I HATE YOU PAGE 115
- After seeing all the various lumps of Appleton shit sitting on their laps and asking for the newest Star Wars toys, I don't blame the Secret Santa Society for getting loaded in between shifts.
- "Mmmmmm! You taste like BALD!"
- With that look in his coke-bottle glasses, it's obvious Steve Maynard is thinking of getting the power up and winning the game. You go and work your computer magic, you fat hairy slob!
- Hotel plumber Mickey Thomas comes back from playing his favorite game, "Plumbing for Retards." You'd be surprised what kind of dirtbags live in the Appleton City sewer system.
- Speaking of Appleton City sewer system freakjobs, The Green Goober shown here was flushed down around 1993 by yours truly. I don't know what the hell I ate the night before releasing this thing from my rotten bowels, but I assume it was some really fucking awful Mexican food.
- Why the hell do all these teenage computer bozos always like those stupid Japanese cartoons? I mean, Jesus, it's bad enough all you do is think about getting the power up and winning the game, but cartoons too?!? Come on you little dipshits. Go out and get a real job like I did when I was your age, instead of sitting around and talking about your Japanese cartoon shows. When I was your age, I shoveled coal into a steam engine all day long for 22 hours a day, and I was only paid one dollar a week. Then I spent all that money on war bonds, not Japanese cartoons. I don't even think there were cartoons back then. Or the Japanese. What we need is another goddamn war to straighten you little peckers out.