I HATE YOU PAGE 56
- By day, Larry McNellis is a mild-mannered, weakling accountant. However, at night he transforms into... well, nothing. He just takes off his clothes and runs around in a towel like a dickless moron. Come to think of it, that's all he does during the day too. What a shitty superhero. Since I kick his stringy, scrawny ass every weekday, I guess that makes me a supervillian. Screw you.
- AVERT YOUR EYES! DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THE PASTY WHITENESS OR YOUR BRAIN WILL BE FOREVER SCARRED! Ray Browning is Mother Nature's natural form of birth control.
- Alabama enforces a strict "Goth Registration" law. Queen Despair is shown here, shortly before she was given a Cure t-shirt and escorted from the building by armed guards.
- To keep all you stupid rat-bastard punks from walking all over my lawn and bushes, I've asked The Bushmaster to protect my lawn. Next time you little shits think about taking a shortcut across my property so you can get to the Dairy Queen faster, you'll be getting a pair of nunchakus up your bloated ass. Knowing you freaks, you'll probably enjoy it.
- Attacks from the Hideous Space Creatures sends millions of white spore clouds through the Earth's atmosphere, producing a horrendous race of super mutants. Here is their leader, Commander Jose Valasquez. TOOT TOOT!
- Oh no! The magic Pasta Necklace of Doom is being protected by a constipated imp! Quick, all you Dungeons and Dragons simps, roll your collection of 93-sided dice to see if you can kill it with your Enchanted Sword of Geekiness!