I HATE YOU PAGE 94
- Why hello there, Sparkles. Was the Jerry Springer Show casting call successful?
"RAAWWWWWWWWR! Damn, bitch! You got FAT since I dumped your ugly ass! RAWWWWWWRRRRRR!"
- Hey, an ugly drunk college fratboy passed out in the bathroom, who wouldda guessed. Whenever I see clowns like these doing community service and picking up trash along the highway for their lame frathouse, I drive by and shout "Hey, you retards are doing an excellent job of cleaning up after people like me" and then I throw a glass bottle of JD into their face. If I'm feeling particularly pissed off, I don't even bother drinking the bottle first."
- If this is The Devil, I'm never going to ever, ever, ever sin again. It's scared me straight.
- Gravity is especially hard on Tom Marvin's cheekbones. It's like somebody jammed a toaster oven into his mouth. Oh wait, that was me. Nevermind.
- The baby senses danger and urinates uncontrollably! Escape and flee to another town, kid, or you'll grow up to have a face that looks like a 6 month old rotting pumpkin that's been kicked in by Serbian war criminals.