I Hate You Page 01
- This is Eddie the Trombone King. I advised him to get some ass cream before that pasty ass rash spread to the rest of his body, but then I realized that was his face. I hate him and wish he dies.
- Hahaha, Sarah the Gothic Pig and Frank the Gothic Janitor get married after watching Robert Smith's last concert on Betamax. The wine is embalming fluid. I think all goths are idiots and I'd like to break their necks. These two are no exception.
- This is Dancing Weenie. Dancing Weenie busts a move while his friend attempts to shove an entire horseshoe into her mouth. One day she'll reach her dream of having a head that looks like a football, but until then she'll have to settle for dancing with some fuckhead who likes showing off his beautiful ribcage.
- Some couple in East Appleton. A couple of what, I don't know. Who's the man in the family?!? No seriously, I can't tell.
- BECAUSE ALL THE HUMANS ASKED FOR $40 BEFORE THEY LET ME KISS THEM. ARNOLD THE DOG MOLESTER LIVES DOWN THE STREET FROM DENNY'S.
- Hooray! The winner is crowned in the "Who Wants to Be a Fucking Dork?" gameshow.