I Hate You Page 118
YABLONSKI SCI-FI THEATER PRESENTS: "MUTANT TRAILER PARK ATTACK!"Scene 1: Billy Ray and Amanda Sparklins hear a strange noise outside their shitbag trailer home, so they go out to investigate! Maybe maw is all liquored up again and trying to have sex with the plastic flamingos!
- Scene 2: Oh no! It's a mutant attack! The whole trailer park is infested with them, threatening to eat all the Cheetos and turn the black and white TVs to "Jerry Springer" all day! Retreat back into your metal deathtrap house!
- Scene 3: Innocent victim Jeff Parker is so scared that his tubby white ass is shivering uncontrollably! Quick Jeff, turn your bloated head around! A mutant with glowing eyes is approaching you, undoubtedly to hollow out your body and use your skin to patch its leaky roof!
- Scene 4: THEY GOT JEFF!!! The mutant inserts an arm into Jeff's back, pulling out the spine and various other goo which it will use to tenderize meat in its George Foreman's Grill Machine.
- Scene 5: Oh, it is too sad. Poor Jeff. He never stood a chance. At least the mutant is gone now and we don't have to worry about any other invasions in our sleepy little shitburger white trash trailer park...
- Scene 6: Or do we?!?
This leaves the story open for a sequel, which (judging by the actors in the film) will probably involve incest.