I Hate You Page 139
- "Death and Disgust From Above": Part II of The Discovery Channel's "Mutants in the Wild." I say we should just carpetbomb the place with napalm and get it over with already. Even though I don't know how to fly a plane, I'll lead the attack.
- Cowboy Crankshaft rassles up a rodeo of computer geeks to herd into the GLAD Corral.
GO GET THE POWER UP AND WIN THE GAME, FELLAHS!
- Another failed South Appleton superhero. I don't remember what his power is, but chances are pretty fucking good that it can only be activated when his pants are pulled down.
- The Trashbag Wizard and his buddy Buba. I lit the guy on fire and threw him off a bridge because he tried to rip me off and charge me an extra three dollars per pound on corn at the Krogers. I don't take shit from nobody, including wizards.
- Wow, Gilbert Godfreid is really hard up for work these days. You can find him in East Appleton doing his one-man/woman show, "Dear God, Please Have Pity on Me and Put Me Out of My Misery."
- Street performer Mark Pelegra. He used to dance on Patterson Avenue. Now he performs on the grille of my Chrysler. His show sucks.