I Hate You Page 163
- Pus-headed ass magnet Eddie Davis makes my job easier by revealing the easiest route for my stolen police baton to take and connect with a vital internal organ. I ripped off the baton from some fat cop who was trying to give me, a war vet, a hard time for stealing a few hundred bucks worth of cash at the fucking bank. I earned that goddamn money fair and square. It CLEARLY SAID on the outside of that Publisher's Clearing House letter that I won a couple million bucks. I didn't want to wait for it to come over the slowass mail system. I needed that money RIGHT THEN.
- Some unlucky son of a bitch snaps a shot of Melinda Scarsdale shortly before I back over her pathetic geek ass with her own car. Her fat face was another nerdy badge to be displayed on that piece of foreign shit. I dont know what the fuck "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US" means, but I can only assume that it's some pathetic lowlife dreg saying like "hey mister, I'll piss in your hand for a dollar.""
- Suzanne Baxter snags a Black Hole Troll. You go girl, go right to the goddamn cemetery with that bucktoothed aborted fetus.
- Mike Rodgers needs to get filthy fucking drunk just to sleep in the same bed as himself.
- Jackass disguised as a jackrabbit. Didn't fool me though... or my crowbar. I was cleaning "shithead" off that thing for the next three days.
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Margaret Palmer and her two quarter-wit inbred kids reveal how many times they've been smashed in the face with a chair on the Jerry Springer Show. They're the only family that has their holiday photos taken on 7-11 closed circuit cameras.
