I Hate You Page 170
- The lone survivor from "CliffCon 2000".
- ESCAPED MUTANT SATANIC OSTRICH AND PORRIDGE SALAMANDER FLEE FROM ZOO AND ATTEND FORMAL WEDDING RECEPTION! STORY AT 10:00!
- Slick Louie Bennings shows off the various awards and pins he won for his prize pig Esmerelda on the right. I think Count Crotchula put his DRIFTING EYEBALL spell on her too. Poor pig.
- Appleton City's latest money-losing idea: Troll Airlines. The in-flight snack is human babies, and lots of em.
- It's like tasting a Twinkie with public hair growing out of it!
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Insane vet Harry Beasdale. He's been monitoring that oscilloscope and all that HAM radio shit for the NSA soldiers that he's convinced are tracking his every move. What a fucking retard. Everybody knows that the NSA aren't tracking us and monitoring everything we do; that's the UN that does that, and I got a toaster with a tracking device to prove it. And no, I'm not fucking crazy or drunk, so go lick a ladybug if you don't fucking believe me.
