I Hate You Page 183
- The incredible Turdball Turtle. His pockmarked face joined the zoo of roadkill smeared across the grille of my Chrysler. I think I ran over a Yeti once too. The cops tried to lie and say it was the mayor's daughter but I know better because the mayor's daughter is a two-bit skank who was probably too busy shooting up heroin in a jail cell somewhere and why the fuck would she be walking around on the sidewalk at 4:00 pm anyway?
- Suburban Superhero cruises the mean streets of West Appleton, righting wrongs and looking like a complete and utter fucking scumball. Hopefully the next time this criminally stupid waste of dogmeat takes to the road he'll get flattened by an out-of-control SUV driven by a hysterical soccer mom with 18 mentally-deficient kids chewing on the upholstery.
- The bartender at the Praying Mantis Club shows off how he makes White Russians. White Russians are sissy drinks for sissies, just like Cosmopolitans or water.
- Poultry molester Kasey Jennings gets it on with whatever the hell that is, Donald Duck or something. I don't know, I don't watch shit like that on TV, I just watch Law and Order and they showed the one about the retard with AIDS yesterday and when he got sentenced to jail at the end I just laughed and laughed because he was retarded.
- Narcoleptic Nancy and her pathetic husband Brian get their pictures taken at "TG O' Redfaced's Hunky Skunky Family Pigtrough."
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