I Hate You Page 225
- "I AM THE WIZARD! FEED ME GRAVY! I AM THE GRAVY WIZARD!"
- Yet another fruit from Appleton City. Ha ha, get it? A fruit? And he's dressed in a pear costume? That's a joke and if you little 14 year old idiots reading my computer screen don't understand it then it's because you've got the IQ of peat moss.
Enoch Yablonski: Somebody get him off my computer screen, this is really beginning to piss me the fuck off, GET OFF MY COMPUTER MACHINE ENOCH OR I'LL PERSONALLY DRIVE OVER TO YOUR CRACKHOUSE AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH A PIECE OF PLYWOOD.
- Milk for 500, coming right up.
- The construction cretins woke me up at 11:00 am a couple weeks ago because they were trying to fill that pothole I've been complaining about to the city council for the last three years. I get really fucking pissed when somebody wakes me up while I'm trying to sleep one off, so I barged out there and strategically placed those parking cones on the workers. You don't want to see where the other ones went. I think the cops arrested me that day because I forgot that all I was wearing was my Blimpy Boy hat.
- Being white trash is a fun and rewarding experience, as you can tell by that ratfaced hellwhore infesting that Salvation Army $30 couch. I think that thing in the background trying to crawl away is that satanic doll from that movie, "Chucky" the one that killed all the stupid teenagers and John Ritter. I saw that movie on the USA Network one night when I was loaded and it made me tear apart everything in my house which looked like dolls, like my pillows and dining room table.
I hate Satanic dolls!
More humor from the East Appleton Motor Vehicle Department. I thought the funniest part, by far, was when I was taking my weekly eye exam there and when the lady asked me what I saw on line three I said "you naked in my bedroom, baby" and she slapped me which means she wanted my body. I followed her home that night and found out she had a husband, so I broke in through their doggy door and bashed his face into a slab of marble that I found a couple days ago in the creek and decided to bring along with me for no reason that I can remember.