Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Welcome, you have arrived at: Yourself
The model kit for the most basic-ass white bread Gundam of all (Johnathan Gundam is its name, I believe) is only $11. I am eager to escape reality. Now that's what I call a formula for adventure!
We have to do better. If you feel attacked, it's about you.
Pay to win garbage. Not even a chance for anyone who got f****d over by RNG. Total scam!
This week, I want to talk about corporations using global tragedy to “get their brand name out there” and otherwise profiteer off of human misery.
I had to kill a young enemy scout with the detached head and neck of a giraffe. Afterwards, in a powerful moment, Ellie realized it was the giraffe from the first Last of Us. In a more powerful moment, Ellie realized the giraffe's neck was tattooed with the words I BET THAT KID HAD A FAMILY
You’re the one who called in this pizza? Slow down there, chief, we’ll get to the pizza. You won’t mind if I step in. Nice place you got here; looks expensive.
It's simple! HBO GO has every HBO series, minus episode 2 of each season. HBO MAX only has each season's episode 2.
This slander to my appley name will NOT stand.
I illustrate the dramatic difference in perception of the protests between news reports and on-the-scene live-streams
I Had Peaceful Protestors Gassed And Beaten So I Could Waddle To This Photo Op Like A Big Boy And All I Got Was This Prop Bible
A self-reflection on the paradox of sexuality and coming to terms with why I need to claim mine.
I try to build a box. It's more interesting than that, I promise. Or maybe it's not, but either way you get to see me lose my mind in a way people frequently deem, "humorous."
Every now and then a forum member posts something so creative and impressive that I stop shouting in anger at my monitor. Today I'd like to highlight a particularly amazing post.
Advice you don't want from a maniac you don't trust.
Think you know who the most accomplished American in history is? I bet you don't. She just passed, and this year for Memorial Day we take a serious moment to remember her.
I can not believe the bellyachin' from these kids. "But Bill, we better stay indoors where it's safe", "but Bill, governor says stay away from winders"! That dog won't hunt, son.
Low Quality Zombie Head? Undefiled Grave? Hung Skeleton? Click to find out what these Diablo 2 items share in common. It won't even cost you a Scroll Of Identify.
The Knifedads talk about the meaning of Knifedaddery, and how to survive a Florida Drugfight
If you take the time to talk to African scammers, you can open up a lot about them.
Here's 900 words about me coming to terms with the fact that I absolutely need to channel my anger over this pandemic
Jurassic Park was based on actual events. Specifically, the time that Steven Spielberg stumbled and yelped in surprise at the sight of a small lizard on top of a fence.
Members, bestow yourselves with back pats of honor, for everything is going exactly as planned!
By virtue of one thousand pieces of unearned gold and the fact that my floppy white buttcheeks are planted on the top of a horse, I am a leader of soldiers. Well, I say soldiers. What I mean is four grubby drifters with spears and more ear hair than combat experience.
You don't want it, but brother, we've got it! Give us your money! Now! NOW!!
In these troubling times, motivation is at an all-time low. Lucky for you, we have the tips you need to get that rear in gear!
Hey, Gamers: Do you like Super Mario, Doom, Animal Crossing, Forza, Civilization, Slay the Spire, and sandwiches? Then you’ll LOVE the hot new release: Maximum Outer Space
Knock knock! Who's there? Lembas. Lembas who? Lembas in already, we're cold out here!
The Chillsquatch returns, to master Chill through the most arduous task of all: Food service.
The true story of how a fast food restaurant indirectly led to our indie game studio's success.
With dozens of stodgy old people collectively using new meeting technology to hold the NFL draft virtually, there will almost definitely be some crazy shenanigans like the ones described in this article.
Misconception: T-Rex was king of the dinosaurs. WRONG. Dinosaurs had no king. Rather than establishing a traditional monarchy, they adopted a parliamentary republic with citizen-initiated referenda.
"And the nights grew hot with the bulk of it, and the days were spent in toil and anguish, feeding and walking, feeding and walking-"
Disney is remaking another one of their beloved classics, but it looks like not all fans are happy about it!
BFM recounts the caseworker who finally proved to him that there are nice people in this world, and the changes that appear sudden to us now are anything but.
My recent trip to the hospital led me to become convinced that reversing the five stages of death has magically beneficial properties.
Screw the four brackets into the four legs. If you find yourself screwing a fifth bracket into a fifth leg, something has gone terribly wrong.
Everything sucks and the world is run by assholes. Everything is way too expensive for how little fun this all is. Have a joke about a goose.
Part 9, the final installment, of an exclusive look into the madness that was being an employee of 'Tiger King," a controversial zoo that is the subject of a wildly popular new Netflix documentary series.
I’m now one of the heads on the shelves. I rub my teeth together and instinctively shout “THAT’S A SPICY MEATBALL!”
Part 8 of an exclusive look into the madness that was being an employee of 'Tiger King," a controversial zoo that is the subject of a wildly popular new Netflix documentary series.
Finally you know the whole story.
Unlike his radical opponent Gov. Nemesis, who stalks his prey relentlessly, Floor Zombie’s bloodthirst is reigned in by his distinct lack of mobility.
Part 7 of an exclusive look into the madness that was being an employee of 'Tiger King," a controversial zoo that is the subject of a wildly popular new Netflix documentary series.
Part 6 of an exclusive look into the madness that was being an employee of 'Tiger King," a controversial zoo that is the subject of a wildly popular new Netflix documentary series.
Brain Surgeon For Fleas? Sorry, you've got the wrong bounce house. You need to go that way, just past the Warhammer Miniatures Painting Workshop bounce house.
Part 4 of an exclusive look into the madness that was being an employee of 'Tiger King," a controversial zoo that is the subject of a wildly popular new Netflix documentary series.
Growing up, I was indoctrinated to believe that many of the Founding Fathers of America were real people that walked the earth, not just fairytales. But now as I've grown up, I'm starting to doubt it all.
Part 3 of an exclusive look into the madness that was being an employee of 'Tiger King," a controversial zoo that is the subject of a wildly popular new Netflix documentary series.
Interview with Rani Baker, Goon Lurker and Internet Hero.
Part 2 of an exclusive look into the madness that was being an employee of 'Tiger King," a controversial zoo that is the subject of a wildly popular new Netflix documentary series.
An exclusive look into the madness that was being an employee of 'Tiger King," a controversial zoo that is the subject of a wildly popular new Netflix documentary series.
For a limited time you can buy a luxury car with a low down payment and no interest for six months. This is the same promotion we planned to run anyway, but our commercial voiceovers are reading the details in a somber, reassuring tone.
You’ve pushed me too far this time. While I was out here taking LITERAL BULLETS for Gotham City’s greatest hero, all you CUCKS can do is point and laugh.
Please accept this as an apology, of sorts.
There's an online treasure hunt that, for reasons, has attracted a lot of people with fantastically intricate solves that are communicated in hilariously baffling ways.
The scowling Combine guard commands you to pick up a piece of trash and throw it in the garbage can. Do as he says. Now he commands you to pick up another piece of trash and throw it in the garbage can from the three point line. Do this as well.
Congratulations on your Computer Science degree! You no doubt have a great desire to put that strong technical mind to good use, but there’s one big problem: You can’t think of any good ideas!
IF YOU DO NOT READ THIS ARTICLE, YOU WILL PROBABLY DIE. EVENTUALLY.
DO take this time to finally catch up on all that worrying you've been meaning to do. DON'T forget to take fifteen minutes breaks to worry after every hour of worrying.
I know about the Ice Planet Huh which is where that famous conflict took place, the Battle of Yeahman.
Imagine a bar graph labeled "quality." Then imagine a second, taller bar graph, also labeled "quality." That's the return on investment you'll see when you give your worker drones the bare necessities required to make you richer. That's redefining the zeitgeist of success in the neofeudal digital media 2.0 frontier. Gerald Ford would be proud!
Remember that program you thought you uninstalled? Now taking its remnants and hiding them in another location like system_hidden/roamingsupersecret/935093581/essentialfiles...
There is a corn in the pot. The pot is hot. The pot is full of water and the water is hot. It's all hot. The heat underneath is what is making it hot. How do you get the corn out of there?
In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Oh dear, I forgot to pick Luke up at the airport.
The CEO of the company responsible for the SHADY app defends his developers, parent company, and the mysterious people on the board of that company.
The Jared: A tuna sub pressed into the shape of Subway Jared's face, with a tomato slice for a leering smile and jalapenos for his dead eyes. This sub proved to be unpopular because Subway is bland trash on garbage bread.
I am a bottomless abyss of charisma. Gaze deeply and peace shall follow.
5G disrupts over-the-air tv and inhibits weather forecasting, placing human lives at risk. But it's one more G! So it's faster! What's next?
Believe it or not, John Delaney is still running for president.
A preview of some of the movies generated by the Warner Brothers production AI.
My knee had once been chopped up by a running boat propeller. As a child I had saved up my allowance for months to buy Bart vs the Space Mutants for the NES. So yeah, I was familiar with how arbitrary and cruel life could be. But this was different.
This walkthrough is for users who plan to watch the theatrical release of Inside Llewyn Davis in a movie theater. You will need to wait for my Blu-Ray and streaming walkthroughs if you plan to watch the movie on a Blu-Ray disc or stream it.