I HATE YOU PAGE 154

Appleton City redefines the phrase "man's best friend." Yeah, you're being fucked by your dog, I hope you're real goddamn proud you raging spermsack. If the cops weren't on to me and my hangouts, you'd be another stiff in the river.

Half of this picture makes the Little Yablonski rise and salute. And it sure as hell ain't the mutant on the right going through explosive decompression.

Woah there, Paulyboy, somebody spilled 1980's all over you.

When the mutants in South Appleton can't figure out how to turn on their game machines so they can get the power up and win the game, they just give up and start trying to swallow the pad thing. Then they drool all over themselves and pass out in a pool of their piss. It's about that point when I storm in and start helpfully dispensing tear gas to wake them up.

Oh, how lovely, the Weeble Wobble family poses for an elegant picture. Some day, the remaining family members of all the pigs they consumed will rise up and overthrow them.

The shirts are fucking right. That's truth in advertising if I ever saw it.