Helpful Internet TV listings from a time that maybe tomorrow but in a world that isn't quite ours.
An in-depth review of Blackbird, the world's first African American Internet browser.
Watching from the sidelines while the economy falls apart has been fun, but it's time for you and everyone else to join the fight. I have a modest solution that just might save the world.
Prolific guitarist Buckethead talks about his role in the upcoming Guns and Roses album Chinese Democracy. He also talks about other projects.
The violent and tragic life of a shticky florist from the Harkonnen homeworld of Giedi Prime.
Colonel Ironhands is a part of America's elite special ops strike force. He functions as a special ops member 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Without pause, without fail, do or die, there is no try.
The third installment of the CONEX series returns to D-Block at Lambspoke to find out what inmates are doing to amuse themselves in these dark latter days. The uncanny amusements include a homemade prison radio, a rare record, and an offer for an unusual meeting.
The blind masseurs of Korea are rioting against new laws allowing for non-blind masseurs. Handicapped people around the world are doing their civic duty and throwing burning trashcans through the windows of a metaphorical Starbucks oppressing us with metaphorical coffee.
Even a new-age ditz can sometimes become a part of the future's working class. It tends to happen when she's press-ganged into working on a refinery that makes space cigarettes for the fleeing survivors of cylon aggression.
Hell yeah, now this is the real twitter you want to be reading.
Carry laws have turned America into a nation of hapless vigilantes with superhero fantasies and tac-ops fetishes. Just because Penn Gillette says it's cool to strap a Luger to your face doesn't mean you have to don your tactical pants and secure the Taco Bell. Remember the "concealed" part?
Harvard scientists think people are conditioned to associate black with evil. What if there is some word or concept that embodies evil even better than black? What if that word or concept happens to need a lot of brush cleared? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
A serious strategic analysis of the global threats which America may have to explode in the coming decade.
Even a hardworking Cyberdyne Systems Model-66 sometimes has a few extra milliseconds to ponder life. Get inside a positronic neural-net processor and find out what a few production cycles are like at the Skull City production facility.
The true story of life as a black person in America. It's a tough life full of peril and heartache. Get the true story from real blacks in their natural habitats.
Chess, I am back! Raymondo has returned to you, gentlefolks, to offer some new friends for you to be friends with during the summertime. These will be friends for life, not just the summertime.
A leaked copy of FM-1833 provides "Answers" on how Marines are told to handle detainees at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
Almost there! It is now time to pass the written portion of your exam and complete your training to become a Blackwater security contractor!
Freezing people for deep space travel is a critical component of super-corporation Weyland-Yutani's colonial expansion. Roger Washington is one of many men behind the deep freeze, and he hates it when popped-collar suits start nosing around.
A scathing assault on the media from frequent subject of the tabloids Amy Winehouse. She explores life under the microscope and what she plans to do to fight back.
Fans of the old ABC show <i>The Six Million Dollar Man</i> can rejoice! CBS is bringing the bionic man show back and we have the leaked pilot script to prove it.
Quiet suburban Chicago is exposed to the dangers of radical Islam. Or tubular Islam. Kafir, my neighbor, is not a terrorist. However, he has certain other passions...
Two strikes! Now Something Awful is proud to offer our third and final endorsement for President of the United States of America. This person has the energy, dynamism, and inspirational qualities to bring America the change it so desperately needs.
Sean Penn discusses the Phoenix Mars Mission and how it relates to issues in the US and abroad.
Favorite food? Least Favorite food? Chef and author Anthony Bourdain stops by Something Awful to offer the answers to the two questions he gets asked the most.
A forgotten two-fisted cyberpunk thriller from 1986. Hailed by critics as the most accurate example of the genre, "Cracked Copy" follows "datajacker" Case and his efforts to stay alive on the razor's edge.
Each year on Friday the 13th the Princes of Midnight gather at a secret location to celebrate their positions as shapers of the masculine ideal. These powerful figures can sometimes butt heads when it comes to the arrangements for the meeting.
38,000 years into the dark future there is more than just war, there is a hell of a lot of work that needs to be done. Join Blue Stripe in our voyage to the 41st millennium to interview three working stiffs from the war-torn galaxy of tomorrow.
The wild information-dense layout of Japanese magazine ads collide with strange English and stranger products. If you want to enlarge your breasts with foam, poop the weight away, and ward off Jewish vampires in Japan, then this is the article for you. It's mostly pictures, so it should take about one minute to read.
Dr. Grumman E. Wodenferd, Doctor of Impossiblism, brings you his 56th annual predictions of the future. Dr. Wodenferd is a respected Impossiblist and has one of the best records for futurist predictions of any American not using forbidden arts.
A ghost ship washes ashore after a strange storm and people in Bangor, Maine begin to kill each other. Madness is spreading and the survivors only have a limited and clearly established amount of time to figure out what is happening before the world ends.
We love our precious babies, but do we expect too much from them? Cats, dogs, and all the rest just aren't as smart as we like to think. It's a cruel reality, but the demands we are placing on our under-equipped pets might just be causing real mental health problems.
Profiles in Scourging is proud to present our first annual Blarghies, the awards for horribleness in Internet political reporting and commentary. Find out which of your favorite political brain trusts is responsible for which crime against humanity.
Lieutenant Cristo of Astro Squadron receives a mission briefing from hell from Earth President Templeton of Earth Fleet HQ. Find out just how bad things can get in this science fiction RPG.
Every scrap of minutiae has been gobbled up by election watchers this year, including an AP survey of candidate answers to unusual questions. Find out what questions the AP missed and how the candidates respond.
Even working stiffs can turn to crime. The USS Voyager falls prey to a petty criminal running a scam in the Delta Quadrant.
With the power of Google's new Google Future search engine we can glimpse the headlines of tomorrow. This time we utilize the quantum power of Google Future to peer just days and weeks into tomorrow to find out what happens when Hillary Clinton attacks.
A long time ago and really far away toilets still got clogged up and trash compactors still jammed. Find out what it's like to live as a sanitation worker for the Galactic Empire.
Mexican wrestler El Pinto Grande assists Senator Hillary Clinton in her campaign to win over Latinos in Texas. Then he goes on a quest of his own to protect some endangered wildlife.
Hunter S. Thompson skips a guild raid to blog on location from the Spike 2007 Video Game Awards. Find out who the winners and losers were in the biggest and only televised video game awards show, brought to you by Spike TV, FHM, and Blockbuster Video.
The final Democratic debate is taking place in Los Angeles tonight and we provide up-to-the-minute live-blogging coverage of this momentous event. Will the sparks fly or will it be hard to stay awake? Find out what happens at the showdown in Hollywood!
The conclusion of our list of the 7 worst US government wastes. Time to take a trip back to Iraq and discover the worst waste you can imagine, stop some coyotes on the border, and protect our great nation from terrorists!
A look at the seven worst ways the government has recently been wasting our money. Take your blood pressure pills before reading.
The conclusion to our list of the most terrible places according to Hollywood takes us to the deep sea and seedy schools, among others.
Part of the magic of making movies is conveying a setting or location. Find out what places Hollywood has been telling you to avoid and whether or not Hollywood is right.
Shelly Hwang and Young Lee have been lording their credit superiority over me and my business for long enough.The time has come for me to respond with both barrels by penning a hotly-worded letter on the subject of their disgusting bragging.
The primary season is heating up, Huckabee and Obama are winners, but that doesn't mean it's time to stop speculating! Join us on a journey through the possible press conference techniques of four of the most interesting Republican candidates. Plus a mention of Fred Thompson.